Model Employee

Andrew Hayes has the kind of face that ends up on the company brochure. Polished. Presentable. The right jawline for the org chart. He spent ten years mastering the art of corporate survival. Look busy. Say “circle back.” Never volunteer.

Then somebody made a terrible mistake. They promoted the brochure.

Now Andrew is trapped between a failing department, impossible targets, and executives who mistake buzzwords for leadership. As restructures multiply, budgets disappear, and colleagues are quietly sacrificed to “strategic transformation,” he discovers the truth about corporate success: Nobody knows what they’re doing. They’re just hoping someone else gets blamed first.

A darkly funny workplace satire about bad bosses, pointless meetings, and the slow death of the human spirit in an open-plan office.